So, thanks to my blog and the happenstance mentioning of Kara Scott, the sixth season of High Stakes Poker is off to it’s best season yet….ratings wise. Male viewers between the ages of 25-54 went up almost 30%. Why, that’s almost 33%!! Just wondering if they can keep her outfit fancy enough to keep the viewers tuning in over and over. (I’m thinking yes)

Some of the changes with the program were a little controversial at the time but sex sells and Kara is top of the market. It’s good to see that even in a game of cards, cleavage is still what’s most important in life. Cleavage and to crush your enemies, see them driven before you. 

Cleavage and monies. Always with the monies. Now, for the moment, could you imagine hearing about a real Ocean’s 11 heist taking place in the strip? Well this kinda happened…kinda. It would seem there was a major heist in Berlin earlier this month. And it only took four, not eleven, clever monkeys to make off with the cash. The tourney was taking place in a big wig luxury hotel and, reportedly, there was over million bucks at stake. Million bucks…..four people? I guarantee I could text four people right now completely willing to invade some hotel and pull of the greatest robbery since…the one I’m currently talking about.

Honestly, four people. Sure, they had guns. Guns that make faces go boom, but still, there had to be someone there that at least considered the option of hiring security before the event. But no, now they’ve got egg in their pants. Or on their face, whatever that saying is. Egg pants sounds better. Like the smell you make the day after too much drinking. It’s like visiting Yellowstone without the beauty, only the stink.

I’ve recently learned that my girlfriend can’t play poker. She’s tried.
“She’s tried and failed?”
“She’s tried and died.”
No, not really, but I needed a quick Dune reference and that seemed the best moment. *best link in blog ever*

Anyway, so I’m up against this big ‘ol issue of trying to teach her all the masterful skills I’ve acquired over the years…but I don’t really want to teach her how to win, you know? Cause I wanna win. That’s the whole damn point to playing games of pretty much any kind, you gotta win. So my plan is to get her comfortable enough with my style that she won’t realize I’m teaching her how to play an in-depth version of Go Fish and not the actual, loveable game of Texas Hold-Em.

“Okay, the dealer lays down three cards. If you have any pairs, you say ‘I’ve got Salmon!’ and the dealer gives you a slight nod of attention. The other player has two double down options, they can either challenge your Salmon, in which you would then have to show them your pair, or they can declare ”Full Steady” and ask for new cards. And this is how you play poker, honey buns. Get your purse, it’s time to play for reals.”

The great thing about plans and the internet is by thinking them I’ve basically given away my hand. Not like she won’t read this.
Now that she knows my plans…….

Full Steady!

Send me some blog ideas, Asian porn or stupid card tricks at jonathan@shlinklincolnsports.com and I will use those words to judge you.