it’s always good when the home town hero takes away the gold. which is why i truly expect domination from the canadians this winter olympics. from synchronized dolphin ice sledding to computerized digital air hockey, our blood enemies up north will be taking gold after gold, one by one.

anyway, in poker news, an aussie won a tournament in australia.
“oh, big whoop dank ass, american’s win american tourneys all the time.”

well…yea….but not so much in this aussie tourney. see, the Crown Casino’s Aussie Millions Main Event was only recently won by an actual australian just last year. now mr.Tyron Krost has become the latest poker gazillionaire for me to loath and beg for monies. he’s 23, too, which makes him filthy rich at an age in which i found myself re-enrolling in college to get my damn degree. but enough about being poor and eating noodles boiled in pabst.

so the olympics and their numerous lame events (tug-of-war made six olympic games before the OIC declared it too “awesome” and was voted back into the Kansas primary school system as an alternative to evolution) have really made the transition from ice skating to marksmen poker a possibility and almost certain future reality.

see, i do not throw these ideas about to mock the game i so truly love. i consider myself a transhuman futurist…..i know what people will need before they know they needed it. so including rifles into my version of the winter olympic poker devastation-athon is merely a reflection on what the masses already crave.
so think about it. let’s have Jason Mercier don a pair of skis, hit the slopes and every seventy-three feet have him face an online poker tournament winner for a total of five hands. no folding, no all-in’s. winner of the majority three out of five earns double-deuce placement points for their country while the skier, in this case Lord Mercier, continues down the slope hoping to gain points for his own country. The slope is as long as necessary to accommodate the qualifying countries.
i literally thought of that as i was typing. but it’s already viral and friggin genius. would you watch that or curling?

yea…thought so.

and why is kara scott NOT all over the american poker sites, shows, events, mud wrestling las vegas do-or-die events? seriously, this is the year of the maple leaf, we need to be finding these “talents” and bringing them south into the land of the free and the home of the whopper. she would make a killing on espn7 covering poker events. she’s got sara palin’s legs and a model’s good looks.
i say we negotiate with canadian terrorists and make a peace time transfer for all rights to kara scott and in return the canadians get celine dion back. true, the jokes been said for the last fifteen years….but don’t you think she’d get the hint by now???

 anyway, it’s a new year, new possibilities. new paychecks, new events and new opportunities to completely waste your money and look like a total douche in front of four, five, maybe even six other complete strangers as you go all in with a pair of three’s. i hope for the best but i love watching your worst.

Send me some blog ideas, Asian porn or stupid card tricks at jonathan at shlinklincolnsports dot com and i will use those words to judge you…